


Yearning

by Toomanyfandoms99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enochian, M/M, Thanksgiving, The Empty (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 10:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16700353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: It was Thanksgiving night.  The human tradition he had heard about vaguely over the years.  Dean and Sam rarely celebrated traditional holidays, anyway.  Castiel thought he could get away with missing it.Perhaps not.  Perhaps the hunter network in the bunker resulted in a true Thanksgiving dinner, the kind Castiel read about in books and saw on television.Dean longed for him to be there.  How strange.





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy!

Castiel sensed Dean’s longing on a Thursday evening.

Although the seraphim had gotten used to this feeling when he was away, it was especially prominent tonight. Castiel had to search for a calendar to understand why.

It was Thanksgiving night. The human tradition he had heard about vaguely over the years. Dean and Sam rarely celebrated traditional holidays, anyway. Castiel thought he could get away with missing it.

Perhaps not. Perhaps the hunter network in the bunker resulted in a true Thanksgiving dinner, the kind Castiel read about in books and saw on television.

Dean longed for him to be there. How strange.

The motel room door clicked open, Samandriel slipping through it. Castiel stood from his perch, fixing the shoulders and sleeves on his tan trench coat. “So?” He prompted.

With somber blue eyes, Samandriel reported, “Gabe and Bal couldn’t find Lieutenant Rachel.”

Castiel sighed, his head bowed. “We’ll try again another time.”

Samandriel half-nodded. “We’ll get everyone back from the Empty eventually. That witch was surprisingly useful.”

“Rowena owes me,” Castiel said. “Where’s Gabriel and Balthazar now?”

“With Ambriel, closing the portal for today.”

Castiel shifted his footing. “Are there any sightings of-”

“That monster you saw is presumably still in hiding,” Samandriel replied. “Most likely waiting for the right time to strike.”

Castiel huffed. “Patience remains the most strenuous virtue to possess,” he muttered in Enochian.

“And a kind heart,” Samandriel said in Enochian, “which you still have, against all odds.”

Castiel stared at his scuffed boots. “It doesn’t feel like it,” he said in English. “I want to kill Naomi with every drop of grace in my body.”

Samandriel’s eyes hardened into steel. “As do I, big brother. Once we are stronger in numbers, you will execute her with every angel’s blessing.”

Castiel imagined Naomi’s execution and felt a mixture of glee and guilt. 

Ambriel entered the hotel room, pushing her giant glass frames up her nose. She looked nervous and timid, a far cry from what she truly was inside. “We haven’t found anyone.”

“Three days,” a Scottish lilt said, Balthazar entering the room, “and nothing.” When Gabriel appeared in the motel room and closed the door, Balthazar asked the archangel, “what now, boss?”

Gabriel’s expression was hardened, the mask of a leader. Any trace of the trickster that once lived in that empty vessel had died months ago. “We take the night off. Start fresh in the morning.”

“It’s not like we can sleep,” Ambriel said. 

“Give your mind a break,” Gabriel amended. “How about that?”

The angels shared glances.

“I’m going to a bar,” Balthazar said. “Who wants in?”

“I’ll come,” Samandriel said.

“I’ll pick you both up off the floor,” Ambriel offered.

“Fantastic.” Balthazar raised an eyebrow and asked Castiel and Gabriel, “staying in?”

Gabriel shrugged and plopped on the motel room couch. “Have fun.”

Balthazar, Samandriel, and Ambriel left the room together.

Once the door clicked shut, Castiel said, “I should check on the Winchesters.”

“Okay.” Gabriel procured a grape lollipop from an inner jacket pocket. “Give this to Jack.”

Castiel took the lollipop and tucked it into a trench coat pocket. He was glad he had the foresight to drop Jack off at the bunker. “Am I allowed to tell them?”

Gabriel’s face contorted. “Do you think they would care?”

Castiel understood the veiled question: do you think Sam would care that I’m back?

And to both, Castiel replied, “of course. They’re not heartless.”

Gabriel’s stare pierced through Castiel. “Dean could’ve fooled me.”

Castiel swallowed, blinking down at the cheap motel carpet.

Gabriel murmured, “I’m sorry, little bro.”

“It’s the truth,” Castiel said gruffly, meeting Gabriel’s gaze again. “But I’m going to see them anyway.”

“That’s your choice.” Gabriel looked pained as he said, “tell Sam...never mind.”

“I’ll tell him you’re alive,” Castiel offered. “He should know. He’s been working himself to death since you died.”

“He’s pulling a Dean,” Gabriel observed. After a careful beat of consideration, he said, “you can tell him.”

Castiel exhaled deeply and left Gabriel to his thoughts.

————

Thanksgiving dinner was being cleared away by dozens of helping hands when Castiel entered the bunker.

Dean rushed to Castiel like a damsel in one of those fairytale movies Dean made him watch. The crowd nearby didn’t seem to deter Dean from hugging Castiel this time, his eyes sparkling and his grin bright.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean muffled into the seraphim’s shoulder. “How are ya?”

Castiel forcibly stopped himself from melting into Dean’s embrace. They weren’t anything but friends, anyway. Castiel had to keep telling himself that. Castiel broke from their hug and said, “I’m fine. How are you?”

Dean faltered at his response. “As well as to be expected.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Castiel noticed that more and more eyes were roving over him from afar. He got a few nods as a greeting, and nodded back. Castiel said to Dean, “I’ll tell you after I talk to Sam.”

Dean frowned. He shifted his footing, matching Castiel’s nervous tick. 

Or was it Dean’s?

Dean worried his lip, Castiel’s cheeks flaring up. Castiel beat down his emotions like he would a flame. 

Dean murmured, “okay. Meet me in my room when you’re ready.”

Castiel tamped down on a last shock of emotions. Dean shuffled off with a final concerned glance in Castiel’s direction.

Dean’s actions throughout their brief interaction made Castiel think Gabriel was wrong.

Castiel found Sam in the kitchen with Charlie, Mary, and Bobby. They all greeted him kindly upon his entrance.

“May I speak with you alone, Sam?” Castiel asked.

Sam nodded, the hint of sadness always lingering in his eyes remaining present. He followed Castiel to an empty hallway.

With Sam comfortably leaning against a wall, Castiel said, “you might want to buckle your knees.”

Sam’s eyebrow shot up. “Why?”

“Gabriel is back.”

Sam nearly fell to the ground in his clumsiness.

Castiel sighed. “I told you to buckle your knees.”

Sam recovered as quickly as he was able. “H-how is that possible?”

Despite the severity of the situation, Castiel’s mouth quirked upwards. “I’ve died several times, as have you and Dean. Is this so hard to believe?”

“Yes,” Sam exhaled. “He died for me.”

“Yes,” Castiel said, “he did.”

Sam straightened his posture. “You’ve been up to something.”

“Correct,” Castiel said. “Jack and I are bringing angels back to life.”

Sam nearly tripped over his own two feet. “Ones that you trust?”

“Of course. What do you think I’m doing when I’m not here?”

Sam folded his arms, frowning. “I haven’t really thought about that. Wow.” His eyes widened as he looked at Castiel. “I’m a shitty friend.”

“Not at all,” Castiel said resolutely. “You got me through...everything with Dean.”

Sam’s expression turned sympathetic. “He’s gotten better, you know. Maybe you’ll have a shot soon.”

Castiel’s eyebrow quirked upwards. “You’ve known for years, haven’t you?”

Sam smiled proudly. “All ten of them.”

“Of course.”

Sam asked hesitantly, “can I see Gabriel?”

“I’m not sure if he wants to see you yet.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Too bad.” He held his hands in a prayer motion and stared at the ceiling. “You can come here now, Gabe.”

To Castiel’s surprise, the sound of beating wings signified Gabriel’s arrival.

Sam and Gabriel stared at each other from afar for a moment, drinking each other in slowly. Taking their sweet time.

Sam’s eyes watered. “H-hi.”

“Hey,” Gabriel said. “Sorry for the dramatics.”

Sam swallowed a lump in his throat. “Can I hug you?”

Gabriel looked affronted. “S-sure,” he managed.

Castiel gave them their space, running into Jack on his way to Dean’s room.

“Oh!” Jack exclaimed, yanking Castiel into a hug. “Hey, Castiel!”

“Hey,” Castiel said, hugging back gratefully. It made his nerves about seeing Dean in a moment dissipate. “Gabe sent this.” He pulled away from Jack and procured the grape lollipop.

Jack grinned and took it. “Uncle Gabe’s awesome!” Worry overcame his features. “How’s our...project going?”

“We’re a bit stagnant,” Castiel answered. “We’re taking the night off.”

“I’m glad you came back for Thanksgiving, even though it’s over,” Jack said happily. “Dean taught me all about holidays, and he likes this one.”

“Does he?” Castiel figured; it was a holiday mainly centered around food.

“Yeah,” Jack grinned, “he must be glad you’re here!”

Castiel’s shoulders sagged; he felt awful for staying away from the bunker for so long. “I suppose he was.”

Jack’s grin faltered. “You don’t seem okay.”

“I’m just tired,” Castiel lied easily. “I should go talk to Dean.”

“Okay,” Jack said. “See you in the morning.” He unwrapped the grape lollipop in his hands and put it in his mouth, walking away.

————

Castiel had never been explicitly invited to Dean’s bedroom before. He refused to let his overactive imagination run wild at what that could mean.

Castiel pushed open the door and saw Dean sharpening his favorite machete as he sat on the bedspread. His eyes followed Castiel as he shut the door.

“Hey,” Dean said, his tone softer than usual. “Come sit.”

Castiel sat on the edge of Dean’s bedspread, unsure of what the protocol was here. He didn’t want to overcrowd Dean’s space. They were already crossing a line.

Dean put his machete in a protective sleeve, setting the materials on the ground somewhere. Then, he scooted closer.

Castiel’s heart skipped a beat. He imagined smacking himself upside the head to calm down.

Dean sat crisscrossed a short distance away from Castiel, not wanting to overcrowd him either. “It’s been a while, Cas. What have you been up to?”

Castiel has never been asked this question before. Sam, it seemed, was right. Dean was trying to better himself. Be more considerate and open.

Castiel replied, “I’m not sure how you’ll react if I did answer.”

Dean leaned forward curiously, the angry mask he would usually wear in these circumstances surprisingly absent. “I’d like to know.”

Castiel shut down thoughts of how close Dean was, how Dean smelled like the woods outside the bunker, how Dean’s eyes shined in the lamplight, how Dean’s freckles were especially prominent. The seraphim said, “Rowena, Jack, and I have successfully opened a portal into the angel afterlife. So far, we have saved four good angels, including Gabriel, from an eternity in darkness.”

Dean blinked, taking in the new information. “Uh huh...so this has what you’ve been doing.”

“Yes.”

“Only good angels?”

“I’m not making the same mistake that the other world did.”

“I wasn’t implying that you were. Sorry. Have to work on my tone of voice.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. The weeks they had been apart were seemingly eye-opening for Dean. “What’s going on with you?” Castiel deflected.

Dean steeled himself. “A case I was on a couple weeks ago got me thinking.”

“About?”

“Us,” Dean replied softly.

Castiel’s heart pounded erratically. His mouth dried up. “How so?”

Hesitantly, Dean said, “we found a djinn that shows worst nightmares. My nightmare surprised him. Surprises me, too. I wanted to tell you.”

Castiel fought back the urge to curl up into a ball and hide from whatever Dean wanted to reveal. “I don’t want you to feel forced to say anything.”

Dean’s mouth upturned into a bright smile. “I suddenly don’t know why I was so afraid.”

“About what?”

“I’m in love with you.”

It took a few seconds for Castiel to comprehend that this was an actual thing said aloud by Dean. He hadn’t imagined it. He wasn’t in a dream.

Castiel swallowed thickly, his expression softening. “Truly?”

Dean nodded, his grin blinding. “I’m not afraid to say it.” He threw his head back and chuckled. “That feels good.”

Castiel’s heart took flight. “I love you too.”

“Yeah?” Dean had never looked happier. “That’s good.” He chuckled nervously. “Else this would’ve been awkward.”

Castiel matched Dean’s laugh, startling the hunter.

Dean smiled wider. “You don’t laugh enough.”

Castiel’s mouth turned lopsided. “I suppose I haven’t found the need to lately.”

Dean scooted even closer to Castiel. His eyes filled with determination as he said, “I’m going to change that.” His hands reached out slowly, giving Castiel time to move away. 

He didn’t.

Dean’s hands framed Castiel’s face. Castiel sank into the embrace willingly, shutting his eyes in anticipation. Dean shifted forward, Castiel sensing how close their lips were. Dean’s breath ghosted Castiel’s cheeks. “Do you want me to kiss you, Cas?”

Castiel whispered, “yes.”

Dean’s lips touched Castiel’s in answer, their bodies molding together. Dean didn’t press too much, keeping his hands firmly on Castiel’s cheeks as he leaned forwards. Castiel brought a hand up to Dean’s arm, holding it in place. The other hand remained against the bedspread, grounding them both, constricting them from going too far.

Dean pulled away lightly, resting their foreheads together. He exhaled shakily, his smile returning. Dean’s eyelashes brushed against Castiel’s as they fluttered open. His breath hitched. “You look beautiful like this, Cas.”

Castiel gathered the strength to open his eyes. His vision was encompassed by plush lips and a freckled nose and emerald eyes, observing him like he was a deity. “Do I really?”

“Oh yes,” Dean exhaled, examining every inch of Castiel’s features. “I should’ve done this sooner.”

“You look lovely too,” Castiel said softly, the same tone he used when instructing Jack. “I like your freckles.”

Dean blushed an endearing pink. “No one’s ever liked ‘em before.” Castiel caught a hint of the bashful Dean he saw whenever faced with wrestlers and cowboys. “People say I look too boyish with ‘em.”

“I don’t think so.” Castiel swallowed, changing the subject. “How are you really, Dean?”

“I’m doing my best,” Dean offered.

“I think you’re handling things quite well.”

“R-really?” Dean stammered.

“You’re doing the best you can. It’s all we can ever do,” Castiel said sagely.

Dean half-smiled. “I know you have responsibilities, but...will you stay with me for the night?”

“Of course. You’re the one who longed for me.”

Dean said sheepishly, “I-I forgot that you can sense longing. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I consider this my best visit.”

Dean laughed. “Lay down next to me, will ya?”

Castiel did.

————

Gabriel awoke to a set of hands wrapping around his sides. He hummed as strong arms pulled him closer. Large hands splayed along his lower back held Gabriel against his heart.

“You didn’t bail,” Sam murmured roughly.

Gabriel shook his head, his hair tickling Sam’s skin. “I don’t do that anymore,” he muttered. “Not to you.”

Sam’s chest collapsed on an exhale, a hand trailing up Gabriel’s spine, fingertips tracing shapes. A hint of amusement reached Sam’s voice. “D’you remember how this happened?”

Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek as he recalled it in pieces. He released his cheek and worried the corner of his mouth. He was glad his vision was limited to Sam’s chest. “We talked. You jumped me.”

Sam snorted. “You weren’t opposed.”

“I would be a fool to oppose you.”

“I don’t sleep with just anyone, you know.”

Gabriel hesitated. He obscured his expression; he hoped he was adequately hiding his insecurities. “Really?”

“Haven’t done that in years.”

Gabriel fought the urge to meet Sam’s eyes. He didn’t trust himself to look up, yet. “Is that so?”

“I’ve wanted to since I saw you with Rowena.”

Gabriel’s insides flared up at the obvious jealousy in Sam’s tone. Why the hell did Sam care so much about the stupid things he did?

Gabriel said clinically, “I only wanted to make sure I could still feel. Momentary pleasure was my easiest option at the time.”

“But nothing more?”

“No. That was it. But,” Gabriel inhaled, “I felt something more with you.” He burrowed into Sam further. “It’s okay if you didn’t.”

Sam scoffed. “Haven’t you listened to me? I don’t sleep with just anyone.” Sam moved a hand from Gabriel’s back to his hair, combing through it. “Look at me.”

Gabriel peered upwards, afraid to bear the full weight of Sam’s gaze.

Sam figured this was as good as it was going to get. He said, “I saw something in you, when we talked last night. I saw a good person. Someone who hated himself for circumstances beyond his control. Someone who beats himself up when things don’t go to plan. Someone trying his best to save his species. I hate to break it to you, but you’re good, Gabe. No matter how horrible you think you are, you’re good.”

Gabriel blinked away wetness in his eyes, feeling like an idiot for wanting to cry. Sam looking down at him reverently was too much for his senses. Gabriel rested his cheek over Sam’s heartbeat and admitted, “no one’s told me that before.” A beat. “You’re good too, Sam. Just for saying that. And for liking me.” Gabriel’s eyes widened, looking at Sam again. “You like me, right?”

Sam huffed out a laugh, a side of his mouth quirked upwards. “I like like you.”

Gabriel snaked his arms around Sam’s sides, molding their bodies together, perching atop Sam. A smile lit up Gabriel’s eyes. “D’you now?” He rested his chin on Sam’s chest, Sam following his every minuscule movement. Gabriel was delighted by the information. He asked, “what time is it?”

Sam tore his eyes away from Gabriel to a digital clock with considerable effort. “Six thirty.”

“You woke me at six thirty in the morning?” Gabriel said coyly, “you can give an archangel unsavory ideas.”

“Good.”

“I like like you just for that.”

Sam chuckled, the sound rumbling from deep within his chest. Gabriel’s insides churned. He didn’t know Sam was capable of such happiness.

Sam’s eyes grew dark. “C’mere.”

Gabriel knew that the tightness in his chest was something new. Something real. They would have to discuss it together. They would have to talk things through and solidify the relationship they had begun. They would have to get back to leading their respective groups and putting the collective’s needs over their individual wants in a few short hours.

But for now, Gabriel surged forward and kissed Sam like his life depended on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
